Lala has a hole in her bottom. It didn’t exist in her youth. But yesterday Lala  grew up and went  to wash her bottom herself. And she had found this awful news.

  And  sorrow, like driving rain, had come immediately. Hundred-karate tears have burned  holes in  the carpet and dried on the tiles in the bathroom by salted roses.

   In past years, when childhood wasn’t so harsh, and doves  and dogs were the same size in Lala’s  eyes,   bottom was washed by persons from  specially trained relatives. They washed it clean, but in silence.  And yesterday Lala decide to check what going on there, and  the world  had become  grey.

  

   She lived  good  before, with her cheerful and, it very important point, with integrate  bottom. Shape, color,  sound – everything were perfect. Peaches supposed this bottom best among them and tried to imitate it in any point. And suddenly,  hole, worrisome, like whistle in night,    was found in the very center of “ Dutch kingdom”. And she has felt uneasy – somebody can crawl in there, or, more worse situation, crawl out.

 It is written in woman’s novels:”All in tears, with  tossing hear, she run to the father”. It is custom in novels  - run to the father in any  tiny case, barely find  new kids in husband from three secret marriage, or, for example, neighbor-bustard- plantator burst in the room at night and made hole in bottom.

  Of course, novels  embellish.  Lala ran not “all in tears”, just only  waist-deep.

  Now, lets talk about Lala’s father. It is terse man with  romantic scar on his brain. Everybody know his selfless laziness  and lamebrain fantasy, that beat god’s facility. For example, only he can take a picture of any person and have got famous “black square”. And if he cooks  pork with vegetables, he decides independently, if he will put there beans or not. And after that he is the same independent in decision, if pot should be thrown out  with all content, or meat should be winkle out from there before. It is because he has intuition and power of spirit. Exactly he  stuck out ball by scotch,  broke  chandelier  and  hid debris under the sofa. Only such father can really help, if bottom  has worn out.

    Lala  carfully has poured  her parent waist-deep. Well, you would be able to write “ Father and daughter all in tears” afterword.  And had claimed to  assess  damage visually, turning to the world by face, and to the father by ass – look, such “awful” there. News, that hole is little and nice didn’t carry calmness.

  And suddenly, on the page 354, father has admitted,  hole-bottomness is family fiture. And he, and their mother Lucy, and even shaggy sister Masha… all they are not hermetic. More then that, farting is not abstract voice of sofa.

    In all its inscrutability, sketch from buttocks life  made Lala’s day. Cognitive dissonance  becomes not so dissonant. Of course it was a little bit pitty, we are not from princess family, but an other hand she has now theme for chat with younger friends. They should   be really amazed.